Many of us want our lives to change, but we don’t know how to do anything about it. We assume that our lives will change, and that we will then change as a result – to feel happier and more confident.
What we might not realize is that more often, this interaction works the other way around. That is to say, that is by acting the way we want to feel, we end up feeling that way… and then our life ends up changing too! This is what we call the “law of attraction.”
How it Works
Want to be more successful? Start acting like you're already successful. Thus people start treating you as more successful and thus they give you more opportunities. You become 'luckier'.
Want to be richer? Act richer. Want to do better at work? Believe you can. Want to be smarter? Act smarter.
This is closely related to what is known as 'self-fulfilling prophecies'. These are situations where you actually change your behavior in line with your beliefs. A great example is what's known as a 'scotoma' or a 'blind spot'.
Ever lost your phone and searched for it for hours only to have a friend come up and find it in seconds? That's a scotoma in action – you have convinced yourself that the item is lost and this belief literally prevents you from finding that item.
The same can happen in our careers or love lives. If you tell yourself you're a failure then your unconscious mind will actually sabotage your success in those areas. To be as successful as you can be in any capacity, you need to eliminate doubt.
For example, if you believe you are no good at your job, you might find yourself slouching, not speaking up in meetings, and trying to hide from taking on additional responsibility – it’s normal!
But as a result, you will find that people don’t believe you have what it takes to get a promotion (which would MAKE you better at your job).
The same thing happens in dating. If you think you’re bad looking, you won’t approach attractive members of the opposite sex, and you won’t dress to impress. Plus, everyone wants a partner who is confident. You may even avoid eye contact!
To break the cycle, start by acting like you believe in yourself. That means dressing better, taking risks, and being more assertive. You’ll find you attract more positive attention and that this can lead to better results – even improving the way you think about yourself.